Presumed Pain

By Matt Pruitt

insist my sanity gone I become progressively unstable,
resist nationality, war zone lonely and freedom forever fatal
no more fears, I hear screaming from those men despite reality postwar
no more tears, I hear God laughing at my pain P.T.S.D lasting evermore

no one in this world to trust when you’re unable to trust yourself
drowning found favorable to adjust after conforming to loneliness
hyper-vigilance, forever paranoid ensured survival never letting my guard down
abandonment, forsaken by friends alone inside the darkness where death is found

excessive execution presumed by guilt, punishment for crimes committed postnatal
compassion performed positives built, survival an idea at times thought inconceivable
death was necessary for my body to make it home, mind’s a mercenary stuck in that combat zone
Death before Dishonor respect spent wishing, words I lived by with only Death Before missing

Matt Pruitt received his GED soon after turning 18 his junior year of high school, and spent part of what would have been his senior year in Iraq. He attended college but personal reasons have caused him to put education on hold. He writes about both pre- and post- deployment personal issues, experiences, and views.